Why it’s so hard and awkward to ask for a pay rise at work

Asking for a pay rise at work is classic boss bitch domain, the kind of thing you’d see a ShEO do a TEDTalk on, titled ‘How to get paid what you’re worth’ or ‘How I negotiated my six-figure salary’.

She’s wearing a remote mic. She’s got a millennial pink suit on. She has a professional blow-dry. She is the vision of success. She explains that she achieved said pay rise by outlining her achievements at the company, hinting she was being headhunted by others and then, after stating the salary she deserves, her male boss capitulates, realising he cannot lose her. She goes on to explain how she’s since had three kids, made multi millions and started her own female-led business. The crowd goes wild. The talk has 80 million views.

In reality, asking for a pay rise at work isn’t always quite so glamorous or straightforward, especially for women. In 2021, the gender pay gap between men and women in the UK was reported at 7.9%, up from 7% in 2020, despite following an overall downward trend since the late nineties.

Putting aside discrimination and pay discrepancies surrounding maternity leave, women receiving lower pay has often been blamed on - guess what - women. A recent study by Good Money Week found that 27% of women found asking for a pay rise “awkward” (although, 20% of men also found it “awkward”). Another, much-cited 2003 study by economics professor Linda Babcock and academic Sara Laschever titled ‘Women Don’t Ask’ concluded that women simply were not asking for pay rises as much as men, and therefore not receiving higher salaries. Studies like these have been regularly used as evidence that women’s reluctance to ask for more money is a core reason for the gender pay gap, perpetuating the notion that women are timid or unambitious in the workplace, when in fact this isn’t accurate at all.

In her brilliant book We Need to Talk About Money, writer Otegha Uwagba breaks down the ‘women don’t ask’ fallacy:

“Previous studies that have reached the ‘women don’t ask’ conclusion often failed to take into account the fact that certain types of jobs and industries are dominated by one gender, focusing instead on the overall number of men or women who had reported salary negotiations, which - given the number of women who do jobs with ‘non-negotiable’ salaries - skewed their findings considerably.”

In contrast, a 2018 study ‘Do Women Ask?’ found that women are first of all less likely to be in jobs where pay can be negotiated, and when they do ask for pay rises, they are less likely than men to receive them. Another 2018 study of 64,000 workers in North America actually found - when taking the number of men and women in each industry into account - women ask for pay rises more than men do. I’m not trying to depress you (though depressing it is), but it’s no surprise that women find demanding better pay more awkward than men do.

In pandemic times, the prospect can feel even more icky. For those of us negotiating a competitive job market, the idea of pushing for more money in a job that is precarious can feel a bit… piss-takey? Pandemic job cuts have left many in the position of doing more than one person’s job for the same amount of money, and whilst you might want to ask for a higher salary, the fact that four of your colleagues just got fired to save the company is going to sour the pitch somewhat.

Before you delete that carefully worded email to your boss - there is some good news. Firstly, things do seem to be improving amongst younger employees. The same ‘Do Women Ask?’ Study found that there was actually no difference between men and women when it came to asking and receiving pay rises, suggesting a trend of upward mobility for women (yeah! Down with the patriarchy!) and secondly, the pandemic is having some surprisingly positive outcomes when it comes to salary.

In 2021, a survey by research group XpertHR stated that more than four-fifths of British private sector employers expect to increase pay at their next annual review, citing recruitment struggles as the core factor. These difficulties may stem from a variety of larger elements: a loss of non-UK workers due to Brexit leaving many roles vacant, a greater demand for flexible-working and better work-life balance, and an overall increase in individual savings across the country due to decreased spending - meaning that many British workers are in the position of being able to quit jobs they are unhappy in. In 2020, the saving ratio - which estimates the amount of money households have available to save as a percentage of their total disposable income - hit a record of 25.9%, the highest since records began in 1963.

The long and the short of it is - now may actually be one the best times to ask for a pay rise - however hard and awkward it can feel. It’s not only possible, it’s something employers are actively making plans for. Amidst recruitment challenges, companies are more willing than ever to offer more money to hire and retain staff. Plus, if for whatever reason you’re turned down, there are plenty of employers who will be willing to offer you more.

Either way, it’s a good excuse to purchase a power suit.

References

1.    Ons.gov.uk. 2022. Gender pay gap in the UK - Office for National Statistics. [Accessed 22 February 2022].

2.     Goodmoneyweek.com. 2019. Press Release: WOMEN LOSING OUT ON PAY RISES BECAUSE THEY “FEEL AWKWARD” | Good Money Week. [Accessed 22 February 2022].

3.     Linda Babcock & Sara Laschever (2004). Women Don't Ask: Negotiation and the Gender Divide. Southern Economic Journal. 71. 10.2307/4135303.  

4.     Uwagba. Otegha, 2021. We Need to Talk About Money. 1st ed. London: 4th Estate.

5.     Artz, Benjamin & Goodall, Amanda & Oswald, Andrew. (2018). Do Women Ask?. Industrial Relations: A Journal of Economy and Society. 57. 10.1111/irel.12214.

6.     Women in the Workplace Study. 2018. Women are doing their part. Now companies need to do their part, too.. [Accessed 22 February 2022].

7.     Financial Times, 2021. UK employers ready to increase pay in order to keep staff. [Accessed 22 February 2022].

8.     Ons.gov.uk. 2022. Households (S.14): Households' saving ratio (per cent): Current price: £m: SA - Office for National Statistics. [Accessed 22 February 2022].

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Natalie Beech is a freelance writer based in Manchester. She mainly writes scripts and articles, with commissions from organisations such as the international HeforShe campaign and plays performed at theatres including The Arcola, The Pleasance, Attenborough Arts Centre and more. She has been selected for several writing competitions, including the Young Pleasance Playwriting Competition and Sheer Height Theatre's Women Redressed, among others. Find out more about her work at https://www.nataliebeech.com.