How my Lymphoma made me reinterpret life

 I am actually enjoying it.

So many myths shattered and overhyped words rendered meaningless. 

I have always had a close association with the energies flowing through the universe, which then through prayers and meditation I access regularly. This has been my pattern for many decades. 

So the day my Orthopaedic doctor, in an unscheduled MRI, saw some activity and sent me for scans, I knew intuitively that this is it. 

For one year it was just various doctors and trial treatments but they could not pinpoint what was wrong. My family was in denial for all this period, while I could see changes in me physically. After one year and three months, the final verdict was announced - Peripheral Lymphoma of T Cell NOS. 

FACT: Lymphoma of T Cell NOS is difficult to treat and recurrence rate is high.

Of course the normal course of treatment was advised and Chemostarted. With this came mental and physical isolation and my search for a new life force started. Mind you, I was positive, but the positivity got directed towards understanding the phenomena of energies in me, outside me and conditioning of mind towards religion, karma, life and death. 

All my life, I taught myself to be a good person. I could never consciouslyhurt anyone, so obviously if I was interpreting my disease in terms of Karma, then it was a no show. No God could be vengeful. Even if some of my Karma needed to be redefined, God should not be punishing me, for God is all-forgiving and unconditionally loving. 

So I decided that the phenomenon called God needed to be investigated. 

Religion prepares humans and tends to explain many situations as per the writers of the scriptures, but again this is their personal interpretation. Many generations throughout religious historyhave become confused

Because there are so many questions. 

For instance, is God up there somewhere or inside us? 

Does God judge? 

If yes, then that cannot be God!

If we understand life, then the knowledge of death should also be synonymous, for life and death are identical for me today.

Today “Conversations With God” by Neale Walsch holds more meaning and relevance compared to when I read it ten years back. I am a Sikh by birth, and our holy book Guru Granth Sahib reveals itself to me in different layers, rather than being clubbed together in one form or speaking one language. 

Why Jesus let himself be crucified is more explicit today.

To be continued…read part 2 here.