First of all, let’s start off by saying that the decision to have children rests with you. Not your mum, not your friend, not your colleague. But it seems that when you reach your 20s, it’s the question on everyone’s lips- when are you having children, and how many do you want?

And in society there can be a lot of pressure to have children- and even more, to want them. When you reach your 20s it can suddenly feel like everyone is getting engaged, or married, or considering having children. We see pictures on social media of every new update in our ex-school-friends’ lives- and we can feel a lot of internal and external pressure about our own personal choices.

If you want to have children, that’s fine. And if you don’t want children- that’s fine too. There could be many reasons you don’t want children- you might not be able to have them, you might not feel ready, or you just might not want to bring a child into your life.

Below I’ve come up with 4 reasons why it’s perfectly okay to not want children, and a few reminders that this is your decision- every single reason you may have is valid!

It’s a Big Life Decision

Bringing a new person into the world is a huge thing to do! It’s definitely not the kind of decision you want to do for the wrong reasons- and it’s okay if you’re taking your time to decide whether you want children in your life or not.

While having a child can be a rewarding and amazing experience for lots of people across the world, it is a huge life commitment. You want to make sure you’re ready for a baby, and if you have any doubts then it’s okay to wait for the right time for you.

Environmentalism

Bringing another person into an already overcrowded world isn’t the most sustainable move, so if you don’t want to have children for environmental reasons then that’s perfectly okay. In fact, it’s a very personal and impressive sacrifice that many environmental activists make.

So remember, it’s perfectly okay to look after our planet by abstaining from having a child if that’s what you believe.

You Have Different Priorities

You may have different priorities to having children, such as your career, earning money, or your relationship. And that is perfectly okay. You may not want to settle down with one partner, or you may wish to focus on your romantic relationship without bringing a child into the world. 

I think sometimes it is seen as selfish to focus on yourself, or to focus on cultivating the relationships already in your life- but that is just not true. Looking out for yourself and the people you care about first and foremost is perfectly okay. 

Focus on the things in your life that bring you joy and that you want to prioritise- and if you decide you want to have children after you’ve settled down, chosen a career, or earned a lot of money then that is okay.

It’s Your Choice

Yes, that’s right- it’s always up to you! It is your choice if you want to have children and when you want to have them. Your body is completely in your control, and it is ultimately your choice whether you decide to have a child- frankly other people need to mind their own business! 

Instead of comparing yourself to other people, think about how you feel and what you want. Remember that having children is a very personal life choice and everyone will have a different opinion on the right time to have a baby.

In conclusion, it’s completely okay if you don’t want to have children. Or if you don’t want to have children until you’re older. Or if you don’t like to discuss your private life with others. 

You may want to get married, settle down, and have children. Or you may know that you never want to bring a baby into your life. Your choices are always valid- and just because you’ve hit your mid-20s and it may seem like everyone you went to school with is now talking about babies- it definitely doesn’t mean you have to do the same!