As “generation social-media”, we’ve become used to watching the world through a TikTok trend, or an Instagram filter. And while the end product can be aesthetically pleasing, it can also make us forget that social media isn’t a true reflection of reality.

That’s why Ella, known as Ella Glows to her online followers, decided to take a different approach. Rather than showcasing a highlight reel, she reveals her most vulnerable moments to her followers through TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, and her podcast “In It Together With Ella”.

At just 22 years old, Ella has had a tumultuous journey with her own mental health, from battling an eating disorder to dealing with feelings of depression. In a brave attempt to take back control, Ella decided to track her progress through social media by sharing regular updates about the state of her mental health with her friends and family.

Before long, this private support system grew to become a network of like-minded young women, who related to Ella’s honesty, vulnerability, and desire to connect. As a result, Ella’s platform has become a home for people to connect and form honest friendships. She’s even secured a job working in mental health, supporting other people on their journey towards finding a treatment plan to suit their needs.

I had the pleasure of interviewing Ella to ask her all about how she built her following, her top tips for making new friends in London, and what lies ahead for the Ella Glows platform.

How did building an online presence begin?

“For me, I never started out with the intention of becoming an influencer or content creator. When I was at school I had anorexia, so it was a recovery account. It started on Instagram, and it was just me documenting my recovery because I didn’t have anyone around me who was going through the same thing.

“It started as a private account, but then it grew over time and I became more confident sharing my feelings with my friends. It gradually became bigger, and became more focused on mental health in general. Then I moved to TikTok, where I would say my thoughts out loud like a vlog, and I guess people really liked it!”

How did you feel when people you didn’t know would interact with your content?

“It was terrifying! And I still get scared today, as I’m so vulnerable online. But I’ve become more careful with what I put out online to protect myself mentally, whilst still being able to share with my followers. I get so many messages from girls telling me that they’re glad I shared something I was going through, because they are feeling the same - and that’s why I share those vulnerable things, because it could help at least one person to feel less alone.”

How did you feel when you first moved to London?

“I was excited to move as I was a bit fed up with university, and I wanted a fresh start. I was quite nervous, especially as you see people on the tube and everyone can be quite unfriendly, and finding those people who you do connect with can be tricky.

That’s why I created the “In It Together” Facebook Group, so I organise meet-ups in London for people who want to make new friends. We recently did one at Waterstones, and everyone who attended agreed how hard it was to meet new people, so we’ve become friends and some of us have even started a book club.”

Would you say you’re more of an extrovert or an introvert?

“I think I come across as quite extroverted, but that’s possibly because I’m so anxious. But I also need time on my own, and I definitely recharge alone.

“I remember moving into my first-year flat at university, it was a very party-heavy, 24-person flat and it wasn’t for me. Everyone would want to go out every night, which made it difficult to keep up. I felt really lonely at one point, and partying can affect your mood. I almost dropped out, but then the lockdown hit, which was awful in so many ways - but it gave me some time to step back and realise that I did enjoy my degree, but my routine and lifestyle had to change.”

Do you feel pressure to have the perfect friendship group?

“Yes! I have quite a lot of individual friends, which I like as you get to widen your circle a bit more. But there is pressure to have a group so you always have someone to go out with, and I do wonder how people find that. You wonder if you’re doing something wrong, but at the same time, it’s lovely making deeper friendships and meeting other people’s friends too.”

If you could give your younger self a piece of advice, what would it be?

“Stop trying to be someone you’re not. You might feel like you have to go out all the time and have the ‘best time of your life’, but university life might not make you happy. Make more time for yourself, you’re going to find your people - it just takes time.”

How do you want the “In It Together” Facebook group to evolve?

“I’d love to have events and grow my social media, but it can be hard to figure out what to put my energy into alongside a full-time job. But I’d love it to get bigger like at the moment I’m trying to organise an event for January. It’s great to help more people meet each other, and I’d love for the girls who attend regularly to become ambassadors for the event. It’s a great, judgement-free space for women to make friends safely”.

How important is authenticity to you as a content creator?

“I’m constantly afraid of being perceived as fake! Everything I say online is exactly my thoughts; there’s never an agenda, and I only work with brands that I actually use and like. Sometimes you have to keep yourself in check and ask yourself, “Is this real, or is this just a nice Instagram photo?”.

It’s fun to take photos, but my Instagram is not a highlight reel. Sometimes people say my feed is too negative, but if you’re looking for total positivity and happy things, then my page probably isn’t for you. You can’t always be happy, and that is so normal.”

What is your favourite way to start your day?

“Open your curtains, look up towards the sky, and look for a patch of blue - I found it today, and I always take a photo! Get outside, and get a coffee - it’s my favourite way to start the day. If you can, don’t go on your phone straight away. If you start your day looking at everyone else’s lives, you probably won’t feel great. Especially on these dark winter days.

For breakfast, I love something filling. It’s going to keep you happy and raring to go. I love toast, or porridge with honey and banana.

How would you ask somebody out on a friend date?

Ask people out for coffee, or a walk! Even though messaging through Instagram can feel weird, I don’t think it is. The worst thing they’re going to say is that they’re busy, and that’s okay. I’ve done that and ended up being such good friends with them.

For places to go, a walk in Battersea Park with a coffee is one of my favourite things to do. Or a bookshop! There’s also a place called The Book Bar in Finsbury Park - it’s a wine bar and cafe that sells books - it’s a great spot.

How do you manage your relationship with alcohol to support your mental health?

I actually went sober for six months at university. It was really good - I felt I wasn’t drinking in a healthy way, so I decided to have a break and it was great for my confidence. I figured out that I don’t need it to have fun. I slowly incorporated it back in as I do enjoy wine, but now I know my limits.

A great hangover tip is to make sure you see a friend the next day! It makes you feel so much better.

Do you ever let yourself have a break from social media?

“I actually don’t. It's hard because I would recommend that to other people. But I think with me, I’m not on there looking at other people’s stuff all the time - it’s usually posting my content and then going off. I’ve heard that there are these digital detox trips you can go on… the idea scares me, but I’d love to try it one day. I think taking time off your phone is one of the best things you can do for your brain.

You can follow Ella on Instagram @ellaglows_, or on YouTube @ellaglows7412.

If you’re a twenty-something living in London and want to join her “In it Together” group, you can find it on Facebook. Or, listen to her podcast “In It Together With Ella” wherever you get your podcasts.

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Maisie is a writer from London, and has previously written for HELLO! Magazine, HELLO! Fashion and Stylist. She can be found in various wine bars, hot yoga studios, and bookshops across London - and always with a podcast plugged into her ears. She loves discussing hormonal health, workplace dilemmas, and the latest beauty trends; find her on Instagram @maisiepeppitt

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