Body image, if I’m being honest
“Body image is a person's perception of the aesthetics or sexual attractiveness of their own body. It involves how a person sees themselves, compared to the standards that have been set by society.”
I have been thinking a lot about body image, self-confidence and how we see ourselves. It’s a huge part of the way we live, what we do and how we show up to the world.
I find myself waking up one day, loving how I look and accepting every part of myself and then the next day I can wake up feeling the complete opposite, hating myself and the way I look, feeling miserable.
Without even realising, I find myself constantly comparing myself to others and to certain standards set by society and social media. Constantly worrying about what others are thinking about me and if they are judging me for:
Wearing makeup or not wearing any at all
My hair being straight or curly
Having extra kg’s on my body
My skin
Wearing certain clothes and how they fit me
What I eat or not eat
Being too short and curvy
It’s a sad reality because one negative little thought or comparison can trigger that less than feeling which then results in a feeling of disappointment and disgust in myself which then ruins the mood I’m in and the moments that are passing me by.
As soon as that negative thought and self-hate comes up, I find it so hard to get rid of because it consumes me and then it’s all I can think about. I then get worked up in my own head, thinking everyone else has the same thoughts about me (which is totally not the case - I hope).
I can be around all my beautiful loving friends and just start comparing myself to them, bringing my mood down and feeling less than rather than enjoying their company and the amazing moments that are being created.
This is all absolutely ridiculous and self-sabotaging because none of these things really matter in the end and people are going to like you for you and not for all of those superficial things. We should be embracing our individuality and not caring what others think or comparing ourselves to a seriously photo-shopped picture on Instagram. We are all unique and no one is going to be the same as another, that’s what makes us individuals.
Trying to stop the negative thoughts is extremely difficult and I guess it’s because I have been doing it for so long that it’s just a normal pattern for me. I’m trying to catch myself every time I start comparing or judging so I can think of a positive outcome instead and break this bad habit.
Ever since I was younger, I have always hated my curly hair and thought it was absolutely disgusting. I have straightened my hair since the start of high school and have constantly straightened it since, I have chosen not to go swimming or participate in anything that involves my hair going curly so I don’t have to feel self-conscious.
I remember straightening my hair for the first time with mum’s clothes iron and becoming completely obsessed. Recently I have been making a massive effort to embrace my natural hair by wearing it curly on the weekends, to work and when I go food shopping
Not only have I been embracing these changes in regard to my hair, I have also been wearing less makeup, enjoying the food I am eating without making myself feel guilty and shameful for it, exercising because I want to not because I have to, wearing clothes because I like them and they are comfortable as opposed to what everyone else is wearing and un-following accounts on Instagram that don’t make me feel good.
These are only small things but hopefully by doing little things out of my comfort zone I can start embracing me and stop comparing myself to others and feeling self-conscious.
I aspire to be more like my little self who was unapologetically herself.
You can read more of Emily’s posts on her blog here.
