And Just Like That… We’re getting real - Why I am loving AJLT...

Image copied from tvinsider.com

(*a reaction to an INSIDER article "Miranda had her first queer sex scene on 'And Just Like That' — and it might be the most uncomfortable sex scene in the franchise's history")

I could not disagree more.

I'll admit, when I first started watching the series, it was uncomfortable. After all, I grew up with Sex and the City. In my mid-20s, I wanted to be Carrie (didn't we all?) and we all had a Charlotte, Miranda & Samantha in our lives. We wanted to be them. Sometimes, we were them. Hanging with our besties, dramatic breakups, random sex and an abundance of delicious cocktails!

And Just Like That, we’ve become adults. Middle aged, not as shiny & bright, women dealing with death, unhappy marriages, health problems, new technology, diversity conversations & gender identity. A few episodes in friend asked if I was watching the ‘Old Lady Sex and the City’. Yes, yes, I am, because (I guess) I am one of those ‘old ladies’ now.

As the series began to air, I witnessed so much written about everything that is wrong with the show, but the problem isn’t with the show, the problem is that is there is so much spot on that most of us would rather not admit.

1) We all age. As young women we were sold the idea that we must be beautiful. As we age, we are sold the idea that we must look young. IDK about you but I have a lot of friends whose foreheads are no longer moving. There is nothing wrong with wrinkles and grey hair. We need to normalize aging. Stop running from it. Stop hiding it.  It is ok to grow older.

Age does not define our worth.

2) Unhappy marriages exist. We are all sold this idea of happily ever after. Most people blame themselves or their partners when the truth is sometimes relationships just don't work. Sometimes you change, sometimes they change, sometimes it just wasn't a good match to start. Forgive yourself.  It is ok that relationships don’t work out as we planned.

A failing marriage does not mean you are a failure.

3) Language takes time to learn. Most of us were raised in a world where differences were hidden in closets, not to be talked about. We are in new conversations of diversity & gender. Most of us are (hopefully) in the process of learning how to right this wrong. It may be uncomfortable and confusing at times. It is ok to feel awkward.

You will learn.  Show compassion to yourself & others.

4) Pleasure is essential. As humans, we need intimacy & touch. While it may not be right, (Spoiler alert -excerpt from the article) 'the fact that Miranda is orgasming while her injured friend is desperate to pee just in the next room only affirms a widespread opinion among franchise fans: Miranda's character is being absolutely destroyed in the revival.' I totally disagree, Miranda has needed that orgasm that for 20+years. It is ok to want pleasure.

You deserve pleasure.

5) Life is a journey about finding yourself. Sometimes that takes time. Sometimes we take wrong turns. Sometimes we are scared. Sometimes we fuck things up and hurt others in the process. Sometimes the unexpected happens. It is ok to not always know what you are doing.

Sometimes you must lose yourself to order to find yourself.

And Just Like That is proud of being a show about women in their 50s ... and it should be. It does exactly that. It shares with us reflections of real life, no matter how uncomfortable. It mirrors how real women deal with real life problems, imperfectly. It shows us how real women age in size, shape and form, without apology.

In media and entertainment, the middle-aged woman is seldom celebrated. She is usually replaced as the love interest to her counterpart by a twenty-something, cast off until she reaches crone status and becomes grandma or worse, she is showcased as disastrous, nagging mom in sweats losing her mind.

If we don't change the conversations, make it uncomfortable, get real, make mistakes & share our flaws, we continue to keep ourselves contained boxes of unrealistic comparison. We continue to hold ourselves to standards defined not by us, but by others. And as a result, we continue living lives feeling less than, not good enough, and unworthy. 

And Just Like That, they found the courage to show who they really are.

Ladies – we are human, ageing, amazing, loving, fabulous & flawed & it is all, ok.

Let’s celebrate that.

 _

As a Home & Soul Stylist at LoveMoreClutterLess, Beth is a warrior for change; guiding women to reclaim their power through Professional Organizing, Styling & Guided Hypnotherapy. Certified Coach & Self-Helper. Vintage Lover. Home Stylist. Moving Meditator. Furniture Refinisher. Gypsy Soul. Plant Mama.