Understanding Communication: Beyond Words

Communication as an Evolving Art Form

Over time, the techniques, tools, and styles of communication have changed with each generation. In my opinion, communication has indeed become a form of art—complex and multifaceted. Yet not everyone can communicate effectively, and there are many reasons why this is the case.

Education and Communication

Consider education. It’s like two sides of a coin:

• You could be highly academically educated, yet struggle to communicate effectively, leading to misunderstandings, debates, anger, or a negative perspective.

• Conversely, you might have faced academic challenges or been unable to achieve certain qualifications. Yet, you possess charisma and strong communicative abilities. Your effectiveness in using words and tone can shift others’ perspectives.

By illustrating these contrasting examples, we see that formal education alone doesn’t guarantee effective communication. Factors like emotional intelligence, empathy, and openness can be just as important.

Trauma & Mental Health in Communication

Trauma, particularly from childhood, can significantly impact one’s ability to communicate. If you were never allowed to have a voice as a child, you might grow into an adult who believes that no matter what you say, you will never be understood. You might have plenty to express but hesitate to speak, fearing misunderstanding or dismissal.

Even after surviving traumatic experiences and regaining a sense of personal power, you may still struggle. In the excitement of finally speaking up, your words might be misinterpreted, continuing a painful cycle. This can happen because you were never taught how to communicate openly. You were never given the space to hold meaning in your voice.

If this resonates with you, know it’s okay. Learning to communicate effectively later in life is nothing to be ashamed of. This is especially true if this skill was taken from you early on. You are not responsible for the environment in which you grew up.

A Brief Look at Languages Today

Number of Languages:
Current estimates suggest there are about 7,000 languages spoken worldwide. This figure can fluctuate as some languages become extinct and new dialects emerge.

Oldest Language by Research:
Determining the first or oldest spoken language is nearly impossible—speech leaves no archaeological record. Among written languages, however, Sumerian is widely regarded as the earliest known. The oldest Sumerian texts, found in Mesopotamia (present-day Iraq), date back to roughly 3,400–3,200 BCE. While Sumerian marks the oldest surviving example of language put into writing, it was not likely the first spoken language.

Every language carries a range of meanings influenced by tone, body language, and facial expressions. This layered complexity demonstrates that communication is never just about words on a page. It is also about how they are delivered and received.

Generations & Technological Change in Communication

As generations pass, the form and medium of communication evolve. We now live in an era of rapid technological advancement. People often choose typing, texting, or voice recording over handwriting. Consider these shifts:

• When I was in secondary school (roughly equivalent to high school), writing by hand was essential. I struggled to find my writing style and often mimicked others.

• Slang and colloquial expressions have changed over time. Words have become shorter, more direct, and sometimes blunt. Using a word in its original form can make you seem “educated” or “old-fashioned.” Using slang or abbreviations can make you appear more “in touch” with current trends.

This constant state of flux means that what is considered “effective” communication changes too. Technology simplifies some aspects of communication. However, it may reduce the depth of interpersonal connection. This reduction can lead to more misunderstandings and snap judgments.

Personal Reflections and Contemporary Challenges

In today’s world, misunderstandings occur quickly, often leading to premature judgments. Many seem to have forgotten how to communicate effectively, or they judge those who struggle to find the “right” words.

I can relate. As a trauma survivor at 35 years old, I am only now learning how to communicate effectively. I never completed my GCSEs (General Certificate of Secondary Education), and I didn’t get the education I wanted. Academically, I’m not as accomplished as I’d like to be. Over time, I’ve learned to listen without interrupting. I understand what should be taken literally and pay attention to my tone and body language.

For instance, [my] partner and I were recently talking in the car. He gave me space and time to speak, and I did the same for him. I interrupted him mid-conversation. I’m trying not to do this. I quickly realized we were actually on the same page. We were just using different words. By actively listening, I recognized that different vocabulary choices can convey identical intentions. This shows that misunderstanding often arises not from opposing ideas, but from varied expressions of the same idea.

We learn our vocabulary from our environment. If we haven’t been taught certain words or their meanings, we pick them up from those around us. Sometimes we learn from the “wrong” people. We then assume that our usage makes sense. This can lead to confusion if the listener interprets the words differently. Unfortunately, some individuals, such as narcissistic personalities, exploit these gaps. They might use grandiose language to manipulate others, perpetuating unhealthy cycles of communication.

Reflecting on Understanding Communication at a Deeper Level

If people understood communication more deeply, we would likely see fewer misunderstandings and judgments. The weaponization of communication—by media, governance, and those in power—would lose its grip. Words have the power to intimidate and control. However, if we become more self-aware, we can resist these manipulations. Learning to communicate effectively is key.

Factors That Influence Communication:

• Educational background and exposure

• Emotional well-being and personal history

• Cultural and linguistic diversity

• Technological mediums and social trends

• Power dynamics and societal pressures

By engaging in self-reflection and refining our communication styles, we reduce the chances of being misled. We become better equipped to understand one another and foster empathy. This might help us unite globally. We can create a brighter and more cooperative future. In this future, words are tools of understanding. They are not weapons of division.

A Hope for Better Understanding

We can acknowledge our past. We should respect cultural and linguistic diversity. We need to strive to improve our own communicative abilities. Through these actions, we can move toward a world guided by empathy, clarity, and mutual respect. Communication can be elevated to an art form grounded in understanding. This elevation has the potential to bring us closer together. It can inspire positive change.

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Ilma is 35 and a mum to three, one who is special needs. She is a trauma survivor and is currently working on her book in hopes of inspiring others not to stay silent. Whilst she is at home a lot more she started my blog and started making social media content around mental health, trauma, neurodiversity, and general human experience. Through powerful storytelling and raw honesty, she aims to illuminate the complexities of mental health, providing a space where strength is found in vulnerability and self-reflection. She strives to inspire transformation, encouraging individuals to break free from societal expectations and embrace their journey with courage and authenticity. You can find her blogs on WordPress under her brand name Mama Phoenix.