We’ve all seen those couples who have been married for 30 years or more and are still madly in love, kiss every day and hold hands when they are walking down the street.

Here are some tips on how they got there:

Firstly, they love themselves! I don’t mean in the narcissistic sense. I mean they respect themselves and have healthy boundaries.

Secondly, they interact from their heart rather than their head. They listen and hear the other person and then respond from the heart. Neither one of them needs to be the most significant person in the relationship and neither person has to be right. When you are right that means the other person is wrong. 

However, when you interact from the heart you want the other person to be happy and loved so it’s not necessarily about compromise nor about giving in, it’s about loving the other person and in doing so not worrying about the small stuff but always seeing the big picture, the relationship. 

Interacting from the heart with friends and family also changes the relationship and you will find you become closer with more understanding. Your friends and family will want to spend time with you as you are more relaxed, more compassionate and less critical or judgmental.

We also need to remember to tell our partners how we feel, after all they can’t read out minds any more than we can read theirs!  And to tell our partners that we appreciate them, what they do for us and the time we spend with them.  Remind them that having coffee with them in the morning is your favourite part of the day, or the flowers they picked from the garden were ever so thoughtful or walking along the beach hand in hand with them was magical.   

Lastly, it’s putting your partner’s needs ahead of your own and your partner doing the same, putting your needs ahead of theirs. This may seem difficult however, when you are both doing it that’s when the magic happens. If only one of you does it, then resentment will form. Or if you do it with a stipulation attached then resentment will be the outcome.

However, if you both put the other persons needs first and you do so with an open, loving heart then the couple becomes closer. They find a safeness that allows them to be vulnerable, honest and authentic within the relationship which creates a deep love, respect and desire.

Happy Valentines Day!!