C is for…clitoris

The time has officially come for us all to brush up on our knowledge and get cliterate about…you guessed it, your clit. And no, I promise this isn’t a feeble attempt at clitbait, it’s just a hardcore fact. 

It actually BAFFLES me how many women don’t even know where their clitoris is, and I know this because it took me years of trying to navigate my own body and find my own C spot.

The thing is, there was no guide at school for female pleasure, or pleasure, in general, come to that. There was just the standard PSHE lesson where the teacher, so awkward they could barely look at the students in the eyes, switched on a laughably outdated TV show that took us through different sexual scenarios. None of which focused on sexual pleasure. EVER.

It was more like;

‘Joe here wants to have sex with Patricia. Patricia wants to have sex with Joe. They are at a party (imagine Joe in a suitable eye-sore of a jacket in a putrid shade of orange neon and Patricia in a very short skirt, some sort of velour tit-enhancing top and animal print tights) perched awkwardly on a bed about to do the deed. Patricia utters, ‘Joe do you have a condom?’ Joe says a frank no. Patricia wonders, should she have sex anyway for a split second, until she realises that she must say no to Joe because he doesn’t have protection. No condom, no dice. Well done, Patricia. Gold star for you.’

The whole thing was like a failed sitcom about puberty and accidental pregnancy rather than having a modicum of educational content.

Here’s the thing, female pleasure, whether directly from sex, from a bit of self-love with a toy, reading a bit of erotica, watching porn, or wherever else, NEEDS to be celebrated, Nay shouted with glee from every rooftop. And it all starts with the clitoris.

To get you guys up to speed, let me give you the key points you need to know. 

1. It’s not a big red button. When people in popular culture moan about not being able to find the clitoris, it makes me think they’re literally trying to find it so that they can push the button once and POW an instant orgasm. I wish it were that easy, but that’s frankly not true. In reality, only its head is visible, the rest of its body is hidden away - much like an iceberg. There’s a lot to be said for playing with the button rather than pushing it once and considering its job done. 

2. It grows. Oh yeah baby, just as you grow up, so does your clit. By the time you’re saying au revoir to those dreadful puberty years, it could have grown up to 1.8 times bigger. 

3. There is no one size fits all. Every clitoris is different, just as we are all different in many diverse ways. What my clitoris likes may not be what your clitoris likes and THAT’S OKAY. As long as you can work out your own preferences, you’re away. 

4. Last and most certainly not least, it is the ONLY part of the body whose sole purpose is pleasure. That’s right ladies, that baby is to please you and please you more. Basically, we’re pretty blessed. Also, side note - it never ages which means it will remain eternally youthful and pleasure-giving. Hallelujah. 

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Founder of The C Word Magazine, Emily King is currently living in London. She is passionate about art, travel, culture, cinema, fashion, sports, dating, feminism and a whole lot more. She is currently working on her own podcast with a friend and also dabbles in graphic design, when not doing her day job as a project manager. Find her on Instagram @emlrking or chatting on Confession Sessions, The C Word Mag’s podcast.