You may know Sharon Gaffka as a familiar name from Love Island Season 7, but she has transcended the realm of reality TV to become a prominent voice in activism and journalism. Known for her self-categorised 'marmite' presence on Love Island, Sharon has since channelled her experiences into writing articles for major publications (Glamour, Metro and Grazia, to name a few) and advocating for women's safety. 

In this exclusive interview, we delve into Sharon's transformative journey, exploring the highs and lows, from Love Island memories to her current roles as a VAWG activist, podcast host, and aspiring Member of Parliament. She shares insights into dealing with personal challenges, her activism work, and the motivations behind her empowering podcast, "Girls Know Nothing." Join us as we uncover Sharon Gaffka's multi-faceted life, activism, and plans for the future.

We all know and love you originally from Season 7 of Love Island where you took over our television sets, but I’m interested to hear a little more about your journey from being on Love Island Season 7 to where you are now. How did that experience change and shape your life?

My stint on Love Island drew quite polarised reviews; I seemed to be a 'Marmite' character, and you either loved or hated me. I'm entirely fine with both reactions, as I believe my personality wasn't crafted to please everyone.

Reflecting on my time in the villa, I cherish the memories and hold no regrets about my participation or my conduct. I garnered a unique kind of love, particularly in the form of a strong female friendship now affectionately known as 'FLASK' (IYKYK), and an enhanced self-love.

This experience reaffirmed my stance that I'd rather embrace singledom than settle for something that doesn't align with my true self. It served as a wake-up call to fully embrace every aspect of who I am. My attempts to conform and make myself smaller, not just on the show but in general, in a bid to be more 'liked,' proved unsuccessful. So, I learned to prioritise being true to myself, even at the cost of not being universally liked.

On a personal level, you’ve experienced online abuse in the form of voice notes on Instagram openly threatening violence against you, death threats, and being spiked in broad daylight in 2020 in a restaurant. How have you been able to deal with such personal subjects and has that affected the way you interact with social media on a mental health level?

To be candid, I've had to master the art of emotional detachment to openly discuss certain events, giving the impression that I can talk about anything with 'ease,' though the reality is quite different.

The foundation of my resilience lies in the relationships I share with those around me. The saying 'strong women raise strong women' rings true in my life, and I owe much of my strength to the incredible, adaptable queens who surround me.

I recognise that it's not everyone's coping mechanism, I find solace in high-intensity exercise on particularly challenging days. Engaging in a screen-free, dimly lit class allows me to focus solely on myself, heightening my awareness of both my body and thoughts.

Earlier this year, you wrote an article for Glamour about The Online Safety Bill and the necessity of writing a VAWG (Violence Against Women and Girls) into the Bill as a vital step in fighting online abuse against women. Have you seen any changes since writing that article in what our government are doing to fight online safety for women and girls?

Following years of advocacy and struggle, campaigners, and organisations, including Refuge, triumphed in securing the inclusion of the VAWG Code of Practice. So, in simple terms, there has been SOME change, but, in my view, there is an underlying attitude issue that demands attention.

The hesitancy to embrace the code of practice sends a message to perpetrators of gender-based violence that we are still considered an afterthought. Despite winning this battle it is evident that the war persists.

Moving forward, our focus must encompass educating users about the dangers of online abuse, empowering survivors to understand the legal aspects and accurately reporting incidents. Additionally, there is a critical need to hold tech firms accountable for their platform management practices.

As someone who has been through the mill (to say the least), do you have any go-to recommendations for our readers when it comes to coping with anxiety and keeping your mental health in check?

Learn to be ‘selfish’! I use the term 'selfish' for lack of a better phrase. Saying no involves stepping back, and considering the impact of decisions on yourself before making them, rather than after.

In this industry, or life in general, it is so easy to be swept into social events for the sake of appearances, negatively affecting mental health and triggering anxiety. Undoubtedly, spending time at home with my dog has been an underrated source of solace.

Maintaining a journal, and tracking my emotions and daily events has empowered me to understand my triggers and practice self-regulation. Each day, I reflect on and jot down three positive things, no matter how minor. Even on challenging mental health days, finding a positive aspect—like avoiding rain—becomes a focal point. This habit helps cultivate a mindset focused on positivity. 

I loved your article in Metro last year on Love Island’s need for LGBTQI+ contestants. Unsurprisingly, that hasn’t changed…Did the Love Island ITV team ever respond to that article and do you feel more should be done on shows like that to be representative and inclusive?

I am desperate for diversity and inclusion in mainstream media in general. I don’t think it should stop at Love Island. We saw the return of Big Brother UK, showcasing an admirable level of diversity in the cast, and I am optimistic that this trend will persist in future casting decisions!

I’d love to hear more about your Girls Know Nothing Podcast which has blown up on TikTok and YouTube with interviews with the likes of Bronte King, Vanity Milan and Tanvi Shah. What was your motivation for starting the podcast and do you find it a cathartic experience interviewing women in leadership? 

My DMs are inundated with young women who are seeking answers to a variety of life's challenges, and while I am really opinionated and good at giving advice, I think if everything constantly comes from me it feels one-dimensional. So I wanted to start a podcast dedicated to women in leadership, and dismantling gender stereotypes. Which also gives other women a platform to talk about their experiences, there is an episode for everyone!

But how often do you hear stereotypical phrases such as “you throw like a girl”, “you run like a girl”, and “you have a girly voice”, being thrown around in an attempt to diminish a woman’s worth and criticise men?

These expressions are blindly used as an insult, which is harmful both to those becoming the object of the insult, as well as to women who are being publicly ridiculed through these notions.

‘Girls Know Nothing’, is a play on those gender-stereotyped phrases to prove that girls know a hell of a lot - and we are no longer willing to apologise for it.

You are quite clearly a proud feminist and activist, and I hear on the grapevine that you’re even an aspiring MP! Can you tell me more about that?

My long-term plans and ambitions are to become a Member of Parliament!

I am deeply convinced that women, people of colour, and young people have been offered mere breadcrumbs for far too long. The disconnect between politics and everyday life deters many from engaging in the political sphere.

Despite my lifelong involvement in charities and politics, this commitment has notably intensified over the last three years. One of the challenges of being on the outside is the limited access to certain resources.

I believe that you can only become what you see, so if I want to see more young women in politics, then I have to be brave enough to be part of that. 

What women do you admire and why?

I have SO many, including all of the amazing women that I have had the pleasure of hosting on my podcast. But these are the biggest (currently living) inspirations outside of my friends and family.

1) Michelle Obama - inspires admiration for her advocacy of education and health

2) Malala Yousafzai - for her unwavering commitment to girls' education despite adversity

3) Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez - for her fearless and progressive approach to political leadership.

You’re an award-winning VAWG activist and ambassador for Refuge Charity - what does that mean to you and what work are you doing that we should be aware of for these organisations and societal battles?

My role is a profound responsibility and privilege! It means dedicating my efforts to combating gender-based violence, advocating for survivors, and raising awareness about the challenges they face. 

In collaboration with Refuge Charity, I am actively involved in campaigns, educational initiatives, and fundraising drives. My work encompasses not only highlighting the issues but also fostering societal change by challenging harmful norms and promoting empathy. It's about standing up for the rights and safety of women and girls, ensuring they have the support and resources they need to break free from the cycle of violence. This role serves as a constant reminder of the urgent need for collective action to create a safer and more equitable society for everyone.

Lastly, what are your plans for the rest of 2023? And is there anything we need to keep our eyes peeled for in 2024 when it comes to your life and work?

I’m the type of person who doesn't meticulously plan things; I prefer seizing opportunities as they arise. My career ideas often pop into my head while I'm washing my hair in the shower, and I just run with it! This approach makes life more exciting, so honestly, you probably know about my plans as much as I do!

_

Emily King is a writer and founder of the online female-led magazine The C Word Mag. Her online magazine celebrates women and female expression in all forms by publishing content from women of all ages and backgrounds to help elevate female voices. After spending over 8 years in media & marketing, she’s taking the plunge and going freelance. Follow The C Word on Instagram & TikTok and if you’re looking for a marketing or paid media consultant, check her out on Instagram or drop her an email.