Who knew a little plastic rod could take me on such a ride? No, I’m not talking about the latest bullet vibrator, I’m talking about my contraceptive implant. Contraception is not one-size-fits-all. It most often falls to the woman to navigate the painful process of trial and error with pills, coils, patches and implants in the hopes of finding the one with the least amount of side effects.  

It’s been five years since I took the decision to switch to the implant, and it’s been years of baby-free highs and hormonal lows. Every woman reacts to contraception in very different ways, but here is my complicated relationship history with my little friend, Nexplanon. 

The Facts

For those that aren’t so familiar with the contraceptive implant, here are the basics. 

The implant is a small plastic rod which sits under the skin on the inside of your upper arm. They are placed there by a doctor or nurse and over the course of three years, release the hormone progestogen into your bloodstream to help prevent pregnancy. 

These little fellas are 99% effective and only need to be changed every three years - but can be taken out whenever you want or need. Local anaesthetic is used for insertion and removal, and the whole procedure takes just a few minutes. Like all contraception options, the implant comes with a list of pros and cons; if you need more information head to the NHS website for the low-down.

My Experience 

For about a year prior to implant life, I had been on the pill. I can’t say I remember a great deal about being on the pill apart from two distinct things. First, it was a bloody pain to remember to take it every day, it struck me with fear, not having a clue if I had taken it each morning or not. Second, when I stopped taking it I realised that the spells of misery and unexplainable depression I had been experiencing weren’t normal for me. I stopped taking the pill in the summer before I was due to start university and it was like a cloud had been lifted. All of the arguments and random crying were just a load of unwelcome hormones reacting terribly with my body - and it was only after removing them I understood in hindsight how much it must have affected my life. 

I decided to stop with the pill after discussing it with my mum, who suggested that something like the contraceptive implant might be a better fit for university life. Late nights and drinking don’t exactly go hand in hand with remembering to take a pill every day at 9am - and let’s not forget those hangovers where you can’t even keep food down, let alone something as important as a pregnancy preventer. It seemed to make sense, and if it made my life easier, why not?

I booked an appointment, and in one quick procedure my plastic rod was implanted (plus one big nasty bruise to go with it - sadly I have skin like a peach). The next five years have been one hell of a learning curve. 

Having never been that regular to start with, the most noticeable impact of the implant fell to my periods. Over the course of five years, my cycle has varied from bleeding almost constantly for six months, to nothing for nine months; having three periods in the space of six weeks, or going months without, followed by the mother of all painful periods. It’s been a bit of a love-hate relationship. No period was obviously always a favoured time - and the constant bleeding really wears you down and ruins your sex life, but I am starting to see a little light. Far from regular, after five years they seem to have gotten a lot less sporadic. This has taken a lot of time and patience and I highly recommend you get a period tracker app; I personally use Clue which invites you to record your cycle, feelings and physical health in order to help track and predict your cycle, PMS and fertile window. Period tracking can not only help you keep tabs on your cycle, but it also helps you to understand your body and the way it changes from week to week a bit better. 

Other wonderful side effects have included: terrible hormonal spots, bloating to double the size a week before I come on, and don’t even talk to me about getting over-sensitive. It seems I have devil-like PMS that lasts for weeks before, and after I have actually bled (sorry, boyfriend).

It’s hard to properly pin down the way your body is behaving and blame it on something like contraception. Since the age of seventeen I’ve constantly had some sort of hormone pumping through my veins in an effort to prevent a screaming child, so often it feels difficult to tell what is normal for me. For example, last August, my skin was the worst it had ever been and I was bursting into tears at the smallest of inconveniences, (sorry for crying Dad, because you asked me what I wanted for lunch). 

Since then I have started to really take notice of my body in an effort to understand it better. I have learnt that takes my implant and its hormones a good 12-18 months after insertion to settle into a loose routine. Although sometimes it catches me off guard, I have come to recognise when my thoughts start to get a little irrational that it’s probably the hormones talking. I have spent time investing in decent skincare and I don’t get upset when I get a bit spotty around ‘that time of the month’ because it’s mostly under control. It seems I have figured out a way to co-exist with my implant. It involves a lot of keeping my mind and body in check and having a good cry because it’s better than bottling it up, but in return, I don’t have to think about contraception every day.

Despite the obvious inconveniences, on the whole, I have got on with my little plastic friend. We fight sometimes and I threaten to rip her out, so it's safe to say our relationship is a little complicated. But this is when I call into question if we, as women, have just come to accept the horrendous side effects of contraception. Should I have to put up with irregular periods, fluctuating weight and monthly crying fits? Is this part of the package in exchange for uninterrupted sex? I certainly haven’t spread my wings too far in the contraceptive world. I have found a method that doesn’t impede my day-to-day life too much, and I do not want to mess around with my hormones all over again on a hunch something could be even better. But am I settling or is the implant my contraceptive saving grace?