Life happens, and often at the worst possible times. For families, big life events can be difficult to navigate – whether in the form of an ending marriage, a sudden bereavement or even positive shifts like a house-move for a new career. The hardest part, though, can be breaking difficult news to children. What are some essential considerations for talking to children about the bigger issues?

Child Development and Big Issues

There are several reasons for which a careful and considered approach is best, when breaking news or discussing difficult things with children. A child’s place on their own developmental timeline might preclude them from understanding certain concepts; for instance, nursery-age children are unable to properly understand ‘forever’, which can make breaking the loss of a relative difficult.

Also, issues like divorce or bereavement are often run-through with complicated terms, adult themes and bureaucratic red tape – all of which could get in the way of the core things you’d like to share or express. The finer points of child custody agreements and asset sharing should be left to the family lawyer; all the child needs to know is what changes (and crucially, doesn’t change) for them. 

Creating a Safe and Supportive Environment

Place is key to initiating difficult conversations with children. You need to ensure that the children feel comfortable and supported as you start to address the topic at hand – both figuratively and literally. If possible, familiar environment such as a living room or playroom is a good place to start, to reduce distractions and promote a sense of stability outside of the conversation.

It is vital to establish trust and rapport with the children in this environment, too. This is something that will come easier to parents and relatives, but can also be achieved as a teacher or temporary guardian. The children simply need to know that they are safe to express themselves, and to give their attention to you. In this regard, timing can also be key; children’s priorities differ from ours, and difficult news or conversations are highly likely to be derailed by an imminent meal or nap time. 

Framing the Conversation

Of course, the most difficult part of the process is the literal act of broaching the topic at hand. There is no easy way to have a difficult conversation with children, but there are some essential routes to framing the conversation that can help things go smoother. Before the talk, you should spend some time trying to frame the conversation in child-friendly language, circumventing more difficult concepts and breaking the issue down to its key points. Some topics may need explaining before you arrive at the news you wish to break, and preparation here is key. 

Structure can be especially helpful, but you shouldn’t try to wed yourself to a specific framework. Children are inquisitive, and you may find yourself asked questions you didn’t expect. Keep things loose and (to some extent) informal, and you can better manage answers and expectations.

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Mia's passion for travel extends beyond the pages of their writing. They are also an advocate for responsible and sustainable travel, believing that exploring the world should leave a positive impact on both the environment and the communities visited