Up again.

You wished you couldn’t

But you did.

The sun is out,

You tried to close your eyes tight enough but that doesn’t make the sun go away.

 

You decide you need a darker room

No windows

No curtains

Just walls

To swallow you, and your misery.

 

She ripped your heart and made you insane

Insane?

No, she played with it.

 

You turn,

The space where she should be

Empty;

A space

Feels like a hole

Just like the space where your heart used to be

Or your soul.

You cant tell which one you lost.

 

The pillow,

You smell it.

As if you were smelling her,

In your head you can smell her,

Except she’s not here,

She walked out,

With your bleeding heart in her arms,

Her long nails painted white

Sometimes red,

You cant tell where the polish ends and where your blood begins.

 

She walked out,

Your with your life

She will never know it,

You wont tell her,

No one will.

 

You’re lifeless,

Waiting to die somehow

You hope it is tonight

You drink some more.

 

She loved mornings,

She loved the sun

She was your sun,

She went with that too,

Not the sun.

The sun is piercing the remains of your heart through that window

 

Disgusting!

You curse the innocent sun.

She went with the love you had for things

 

Food is now tasteless,

You hate mornings

Life seems like a joke

And music sounds like torture.

 

You remember how she smiles

How she bullied you gently

How she danced to some songs.

 

“My god! I’ve never seen anyone else so full of life”

 

You remember what you said to her that night,

Thee night you fell in love with her,

Her brave eyes looked at you,

She was breathtaking

And scared of nothing.

 

She danced and laughed,

And took all risks of the living,

She jumped fences and shouted when she wanted to,

How do you forget and move on?

How do you live without that?

_

Gloria Nyagaka is Kenyan and just completed her Bachelor's degree in Geology.

She has been a writer for six years now. Her manuscript is the biggest project she’s ever done, a modern romantic thriller, is in the hands of her literary agent. It is a book that expresses great female characters and the strength of a woman at large. She mostly campaigns against women violence and for freedom for women to choose. She also focuses on how great women have changed the world, Michelle Obama, Serena Williams, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie and others. She is a swimmer, a swim coach, a Taekwondoka, hockey player, and a dancer.